I remember the first time, My kiddo was four years old they said “You’re Fat”. At the time I decided to tell Fat is not a very nice word and then it’s not a good way to describe someone because it could hurt someone’s feelings. I also replied “Yes I do carry a few extra pounds.”
Then again when my kiddo was seven He told me that some kids made fun of him. When I asked:
they said “I did not want to tell you Mommy”
“You can tell me anything buddy”
They proceeded to tell me a little kids the other kids made fun of them because there mom is fat and they knew that was not a nice word, so he did not hurt my feelings by telling me.
I told him it’s okay buddy you can tell me and it’s okay it doesn’t hurt mommy feelings. Mommy knows that she is not the skinniest person but I’m confident with who I am and my good person. They were just being bullies you did the right thing by telling me.
I asked them “Is your mommy is a good person?”
and
They replied “yes”
Seven ways to talk to your kids about you being Fat
- Decide what being Fat is and explain it to your kids is you choose to use the word. Teach them when the word is appropriate and when it is not.. The Pig is fat, but for people it is not a nice word, to describe an overweight person, it is the same thing as teaching them to not stare.
- You are an adult , so express that to the child. Your are the weight you are because of ..list tangible reason Your ate more than you should at one point, you enjoy food, yes you can make better choices, you are an adult.
- Don’t talk about fat, calories, diet, or being overweight .. that tend to make kids focus on it as a negative. If you must use words like portions and healthy option which are more positive.
- You are an adult and it is your weight. It is not our child’s choice, it is your issue. Show your children that weight is not tied to your happiness. Because it is not, If you are happy and love yourself regardless of your size you kids will learn to love themselves by example.
- Choose healthy living and show him/her by example you can still eat fruits, vegetables, and healthy choice. Even if you are not the smallest mom on the block you re the best mom for your kids.
- Show him that you still live in active lifestyle regardless: go on the ride, swing on the swings on a playground, and play with them outside. Be sure to live your life in showing your kids that weight will not stop you.
- Be concerned about yourself and how you look regardless of your size in a positive way. Show them that you are pleased with your appearance. Get dressed up from time to time. If you are unhappy then change it but keep it positive. I do tell my kids that… saying it out loud “I think I am beautiful, smart, and a good person.” (of course they hear it about themselves) Teach a child to love themselves is a one of biggest gift you can give them. Lead by example.
As mom of course I’m concerned that the kids will be overweight. It takes everything in me not to notice if they put on a few pounds or not to notice. I want them to make good lifestyle choices, my son at the age of 12 is an active competitive swimmer. I’m focusing on the athletic activity level my child is doing because we have diabetes issues and arthritis issues in our family. I hope that they never have to deal with the same health issues as my husband or I have. By chosen to really support my son swimming tyring not bring in activity into my children’s world, I try to break the cycle.
I know it is a battle .. internally and external teach your kids compassion and self esteem and teaching it to yourself in the process.
Talk the Talk.. walk the walk.. Lead by example it is a whole life process.
